Leg News of the World

Attackers chop off man's 'magic' leg

Associated Press

HYDERABAD, India - Two men attacked an 80-year-old, self-proclaimed holy man in southern India and chopped off his right leg, apparently believing it had magical powers, police said Thursday.

Yanadi Kondaiah, who claimed that those who touched his leg would be cured of illness or have wishes granted, was hospitalized in serious condition after the attack Tuesday, said R. Ravindranath Reddy, a senior police officer.

"We are looking for the miscreants as well as the leg," Reddy told The Associated Press by telephone from the Chittoor district, a remote area 340 miles south of Hyderabad, the capital of Andhra Pradesh state.

"This seems to be a case of superstition. The two people might have taken away the leg hoping to benefit from its magical powers," said Pendakanti Dastgiri, the police officer handling the case.

Superstitions, belief in magic and the occult remain widespread in much of rural India.

Kondaiah told police that two men offered him a drink as thanks for previously helping them with his magical touch.

After he passed out drunk, the men chopped off the leg below the knee with a sickle and left him to die, said Dastgiri, adding that passing villagers found him and took him to a hospital.

Shivered Timbers

From a LA casting agent:

PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 3 OPEN CALL

Open Casting Call - Through 15 August 2006
Pirates of the Caribbean 3

Monday through Friday, 11am – 3pm

Seeking Pirates -- men age 18+, all shapes and sizes, all ethnicities: Asian, Spanish, French, African, Syrian, Lebanese, Middle Eastern, Turkish, Armenian, Arab, Persian, Caucasian, South American, Pacific Islander, Eskimo, etc...

You must be an extreme character type! We need extremely skinny, very tall, very short, hunchback, little people, unusual facial features and body types, exotic amputees, albinos, etc.


Wow, not just amputees, but EXOTIC amputees?? Hey, I'm a brown-eyed brunette/blonde, I could pass for multi-culti! And big tits! Big ol' tits and one leg always puts butts in movie seats, it's a sure thing!

I will be awaiting Mr. Bruckheimer's call....

Rip It Out

I really have no idea why I feel like this is important enough that I have to share this, but you know, my middle name is 'sharing equals caring', which is why I don't own many monogrammed items.

Early today I went to the prosthesist's to give the C LEG™ a once around the, um, small room. Walking walking walking. I had to try so hard to remember all the little details that you never have to think about to walk naturally. I'd walk, turn, walk and sit down. Also, the socket that the residual limb fits into is plastic-y and tight-fitting so I have to slop a lot of limb lotion (which might be the actual brand name) all over it to be able to pack it all into the socket. Then once the air is pushed out I turn a knob on the bottom of the socket and the leg is held in place by suction.

However.

Just by moving around normally and my limb changing in shape as I move, I end up with a lot of air pockets inside the socket, so when I stand or sit? Out rips the wettest, loudest fart noise I've ever heard outside of a Third-Grade classroom. PHHHHHHRRRRRAAAAPPPP! PHHHHHHRRRRRAAAAPPPP! PHHHHHHRRRRRAAAAPPPP! My own personal soundtrack. Like I don't feel embarrassed enough. On the up side, I know how to endlessly amuse my ten year-old and eight year-old cousins.

CATs PETs MRIs, OMG

(Part the third)

At this time, I had another MRI, another CAT scan and a PET scan. They are all similar where you are put on an uncomfortable flat board and fed into a hole going through a big noisy machine. MRIs are the noisiest, they sound like a washing machine filled with jackhammers. CAT and PET scans are quiet but are boring and claustrophobic. When you have a CAT scan you have to drink this horrible ‘shake’, which is invariably ‘banana’ ‘flavored’. It’s either to irradiate your insides or cause you to throw up, I forget which. When they gave me the PET scan to make extra sure that I wouldn’t move or see them laughing at me, the technician actually taped my head to the board. They also have music piped into headphones to mask some of the machines’ noise. On this visit, they played ‘Spirit in the Sky’ where they sing about where you go when you die, which was really thoughtful of some programmer.

Dr. Hu, who coincidentally plays tennis with Dr. Coit, thought I should consult with a fourth doctor, Dr. Blum (not to be confused with Doctor Bloom). Being the head of Oncology at Beth Israel he knew a lot of doctors and their specialties. One that he knew was a Dr. Alexander Marie Eggermont of the Netherlands. He does a process called an isolated limb perfusion to sarcomas of the arms or legs and after checking all my tests and a library’s-worth of paperwork, told me I would be an ideal candidate for the procedure.

The Story of my Leg

In 2001, I was diagnosed with what appeared to be a blood clot behind my right knee. I was briefly hospitalized and started taking Coumadin. In 2003 I had a recurrence. At this time, my leg started curving inward. My doctor reassured me it was just swelling from the blood clot. On January 15th 2004 I saw a vascular surgeon to have a Doppler scan of the clot. Instead, the technicians scanned the inner part of my right knee and freaked out. Instead of being edema, I appeared to have a tumor the size of a grapefruit wrapped around my knee. They told me to go to my regular doctor’s office and wait there. When I arrived Dr. Hirschman told me to see his associate Dr. Bloom, a surgical oncologist who shared an office with him. Dr. Bloom introduced himself my sticking a thick needle into my leg with no anesthesia and I tried to ignore the pain by fixating on his blood-caked fingernails. I was sent out for a CAT scan and an MRI and told to come back next week.

On my next visit Dr. Bloom told me that the results came back as a low-grade firbosarcoma, a stage 2B (there are only four stages). Sarcomas are very rare and do not respond to chemotherapy or radiation and most often have to be surgically removed rather drastically with very wide margins. He then cut to the chase and flat out recommended amputation of 75% of my right leg. I tried hard not to puke, or pass out or puke and pass out. My cousin who was with me asked me if I was okay. The doctor snapped, ‘Of course she’s not okay, I just told her I need to amputate her leg!’ Oh and by the way, I had two weeks to make up my mind about the surgery, which he claimed he had performed hundreds of times. Through my tears I asked him that if I get a prosthetic limb do I also get an eye patch and a parrot? Silence from Dr. Bloom. Not a fan of pirate jokes I guess.