Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters

What’s up, baby birds? Time again for another recap of RockStar:INXS (8/30). Once again apologies for completists – my DiVo doesn’t recognize the title RockStar:INXS as something worth recording on Sunday night (that’s been corrected for this week’s show). A quick recap of what happened at the Rock Haüs on Sunday – Dave visited and told the contestants that this week, they would all be doing a vocal for a new INXS song. They began learning the lyrics. Marty (Gallant) worked extra hard and J!D! (Goofus) took a nap. They went to the studio to sing to a playback. Ty and Mig sang like the former cast members of “We Will Rock You” that they are. Tim and Jon Farriss were concerned with Jordis changing the melody when she sings. Marty sounded like he was passing a kidney stone at first but improved when he used a different key. J!D!‘s (parking his gum on the music stand) lack of preparation was apparent to everyone. Suzie impressed the Farrisses the most. The songs came out, that they would be singing with a string section and a chorus, included ‘Imagine’ and ‘Suspicious Minds.’ Suzie would not give ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ to Mig because he didn’t give her the original song last week. Nyah nyah nyah.

Dave ‘Tougher Than Pleather’ Navarro spins some revisionist history saying they all ‘had a blast,’ at the recording session but he was disturbed by J!D! not learning the new INXS song. J!D! naturally has passive/aggressive reason, claiming that instead of him putting his imprint on the song, he thought that INXS would tell him exactly what they wanted on the song themselves. Suzie notes that she wasn’t there but they seemed to take a long time. Mig chimes in that J!D! has a ‘method to his madness’ so he’s not going to put him down until he hears the final project. J!D! then asks Jon and ‘Andy’ Farriss if they were disappointed in his performance that day. Andrew says the exercise was to bring themselves to the song (that’s not an answer, clever boy). He then asks Jordis why she kept changing the melody. She was under the assumption that the track was a starting point to work off of, a ‘skeleton.’ Andrew says ‘open to interpretation?’ Yep. Well, thanks but no, they were meant to stick to the melody. Whoops.

Kirk notes that Marty stayed up all night working on the song and has put extra effort into everything they have ever asked him to do (overlooking the week of ‘Stop Go’). Has this compromised Marty? He admits that he didn’t know anything about the ‘Sixties soul vibe’ the song was supposed to have (strange, considering he’s about forty) and thought it went badly until Andrew asked him to sing it in the ‘female key’ then it all worked out. Dave thinks we’ve heard a new voice from Marty. Back to Brooke, who is wearing hip-hugging jeans, see through black tank, black bikini top, thigh high white boots, and a black dog leash thing around her neck. She says nothing of note, I just wanted to mention the whore-tastic outfit.

Ty is up first tonight with The Rolling Stones’s ‘You Can’t Always Get What You Want.’ Before he sings, he interviews that he grew up in church singing in choirs so he’s ‘all about gospel and rock,’ thus INXS will have no choice but to hire him. The look is red open necked shirt with a pinstripe vest and matching pants. He sounds good but the choir doesn’t sound very good. I’m going to assume that it’s a miking problem. He throws in a few ‘YEAH YEAH’s in at the sped up part (is that the gospel part or the rock part of Ty?). He points out afterward that his mother is in the house and she looks adorable. Dave thought Ty’s voice was ‘spot on’ tonight. Garry Garry thought he was incredible. Jon just says he was (fucking) awesome (they blurred out his mouth, so much for live TV) and well done. A sign you’ve been watching this show too much – you can tell the Farrisses apart.

J!D! is up next and he has chosen Elvis’s ‘Suspicious Minds’ and as usual, he’s messing with the arrangement. He also admits that for a few years he was an Elvis impersonator (I wonder which version, perhaps Living-In-His-Car-Elvis) so this song is like ‘closure.’ The song sounds just a little sped up. So much for changing the arrangement. He’s sporting brown pants, brown vest, no shirt, no shoes, no service, and a hat at a rakish angle. Maybe he comes off better live because I cannot understand how he’s avoided being in the bottom three so far. He’s truly adequate, really par. During the slow part he eye-rapes the entire front row and tries for an ‘Elvis’ sneer but lands on ‘Billy Idol’ instead. He ends the song with a flying knee-drop. Crack. Snap. Dave Navarro notes his de-Elvising of the song, isn’t sure what it will ultimately do for him, but he thought he was good. Jon Farriss asks ‘Why. Did you pick that song?’ J!D! says for two or three years he was just known as a dancing monkey who did Elvis songs so this is the first time he’s sung the song as himself. Andrew Farriss thought his rendition was powerful. For a passive-aggressive dancing monkey.

On to Marty singing Pink Floyd’s ‘Wish You Were Here,’ another slow, sitting down kind of song. Bye, Manic Marty! He’s wearing a black suit and a red open neck shirt, maybe borrowed from Ty. Best of all, he’s wearing shoes. It’s so wrong that he thinks he comes off better on the shouty songs, because he sounds much better and much more in key when he’s doing the quiet songs. The choir is mostly quiet on the song, just a ‘year after year.’ The crowd reaction is very loud and enthusiastic and he steps off stage to hug his aunt. Dave wants to know how it felt to do a Pink Floyd song with the strings and choir. He says the last moment was probably one of the greatest moments of his life. J!D! and Jordis clap at this. Dave notes the smoothness and ease of his vocal delivery. Kirk thought the song really suited his voice and Marty was awesome. Turns out this song is Garry Garry’s favorite song off of one of his favorite albums and he plays it to death in his ‘cah’. He cites the song being about a missing band member which is why it moves him so much (that’s the closest anyone’s come to mentioning the verboten Michael Hutchence) and says that less is more. So yay for Marty.

After taking a big chance last week by sucking, Jordis decides not to play it safe again. She’s doing John Lennon’s ‘Imagine.’ She’s also going to play acoustic guitar along with it because she feels like she really needs to redeem herself this week. She’s wearing a black long dress with a cutout chest hole and a lot of black beads. This week she sounds much better, hitting the notes (including the tricky high ones) with ease, which gets a big audience reaction. She gets stronger by the end and finishes the song smiling. Then she gives a big hug to her mom and seriously crazy looking dad (imagine Jerry Garcia plus Chong). Dave thought she was phenomenal. Kirk thought she was ‘spellbinding,’ but wanted to know about the guitar playing. She says she just wanted to ‘be’ the music. Jon said that it took everything that he had not to cry as she sang and she has totally redeemed herself from last week. Mission accomplished.

Time for Mig and Wings’s ‘Live and Let Die.’ Perhaps you might have thought that the former cast member of ‘We Will Rock You’ would fight for the only Queen song. Au contraire! Mig decided to go back to being passive this week and do the Wings song instead of the song he wanted. But he’s not just being Mr. Nice Guy, he’s thinking of the competition and not auditioning for the lead in ‘We Will Rock You.’ Mig is wearing a white open collar shirt, black jacket and black leather pants. And shoes with a little heel, aw, how cuuuuute. It’s a very theatrical performance (of a very theatrical song) and he does some extra vocal runs during the instrumental parts. Seems the choir wasn’t needed for this song but the string/horn section had to do double duty. He also holds the last note reeeeeeaaallly long and ends with a single knee drop. Nice. Dave kids he was seventeen years old when that last note started. Jon thinks it was a smart song choice but Kirk thinks (after saying how great the house band was first) that he shouldn’t have been singing during the instrumental breaks. Mig claims he got carried away. The audience boos and Garry Garrrrrry reprimands him with a stern, ‘Kirk.’ Garry finishes by saying that he thought Mig did a great job.

Finale time with Suzie taking on ‘Bohemian Rhapsody.’ She wanted it more than any other song she’s had before, but when she got it realized what a task she had taken on. ‘What have I gotten myself into?’ No kidding. She’s wearing a purple leather jacket with blousy sleeves, black tank and pants, beaded wide belt, purple sequined scarf and black gloves. The performance is a bit subdued up to the ‘little silhouette-o of a man’ line when she starts loosening up and really seeming to enjoy the herself. Jon and Garry Garry are singing along all goofy-like. As many times as I’ve watched this, it’s still pretty awesome to see Suzie, the audience, and the choir start jumping up and down with the ‘rock’ part of the song. Dave practically foams at the mouth saying it was one of the most spectacular things he’s ever seen with the song and the strings and choir and everybody being so so super! Kirk says that although it’s a very hard song to sing and play that was the best performance he’s seen through the ‘whole show. Ever.’ Jon calls her a true pro and says he’s so proud she wants to be a part of their band. Suzie falls to her knees with gratitude. Some Random Dude yells ‘Suzie rocks!’ Indeed.

Time to vote (if you own a time machine). Do we have early voting results? Why yes, thanks for asking! Bottom three are J!D!, Ty, and Marty. Lines are open up to four hours and tomorrow we get the results, but sadly it’s another one hour results show so expect more padding than at a junior high school prom (thanks folks, tip your waitress). Megan out!