Boys keep swinging, boys always work it out

RockStar:INXS

So, elimination night. I watched a few nights ago, again no notes. Doing the best I can... First off, no surprise- Jordis gets the encore spot. In! Your! Face! J! D! Fortune! She sings her song beautifully; I guess she doesn't need to worry about getting kicked off the show tonight. They are going to have a really hard time getting rid of this chick- she's just too good a singer. Then again, their dismissal line is not, "I'm sorry, but you just don't sing well enough to be part of our band, INXS". It's "You're just not right for our band INXS" which is very vague, not putting the blame on any one thing. The sign off line should be, "I'm sorry, but you don't have a penis and testicles, so you're just not right for our band, INXS". Sorry, back to recap.

Again, Brooke Burke (who by the way is splitting with her husband, a plastic surgeon...if any gentlemen out there are interested! I read that in People magazine) asks the group if any of them think they deserve to be in the bottom three. About half raise their hands, Brooke chides them, "Now are some of you raising your hands to try to be modest?"... Shut up and get on with the bottom three, in no particular order, of course.

The bottom three are: Ty (Everlong), Brandon (If you could only see), and Tara (I still can't remember what she sang! Damn!). They are handed their song challenges: Brandon gets to sing "Devil Inside", Tara gets "Beautiful Girl" ("I love that song!" she simpers), and Ty gets "Kick".

So, Brandon first. I'll give him this- he looks much better tonight- like he had a little makeover. He's shaved the beard/stubble shield he usually has on his shovel chin, but still have some fine sideburns, dressed much better in a lean suit & dark shirt. Dave Navaro gave him major props earlier in the show for his style- "Dude! You look awesome!". And what would you know about style, Mr I have a horrible outfit in the rock & roll hall of fame? Sigh. But, oh lord, Brandon does not at all sing this song well. I feel bad for him. Most of the singing in "Devil Inside" is in the lower range. He's better at the mid-range screamy/shouty kind of singing, not attempting a low, seductive croon. He look awkward, doesn't dance or move well, at least he doesn't do the falling-down thing he's done at least twice. He loses the rhythm a time or two, fluffs a few lines and tries to cover with "Woo! Yeah! C'mon let me hear ya!". I honestly thought he blew it.

Next Tara, singing the really insipid "Beautiful Girl". What a shit choice for a girl to sing. It's just a dull song, she sort of strolls around the stage, smiling beatifically, sings well but oops! My head just hit the keyboard. I dozed off while thinking of Tara's performance. So, so dull. I don't know though... she sang better than Brandon, that's for sure.

Finally we have Ty, who has been very well matched to this song. It's high energy, plus the word "Kick" gives him the opportunity to do many flamboyant kicks! He sings it really well, and he works the stage- the most amazing thing about his performance is that he manages to full teeth bared smile throughout the whole thing. He looks like he's both really enjoying himself and also knows he's totally kicking (hee! pardon the pun) Tara and Brandon's butts. Anyway, really good performance.

Sure enough, after the commercial, Ty is told, go back to sit with the others, you're not going anywhere. He knows it too- he goes over to join the others. So, it's down to Tara (good singer, saddled with a crap song), and Brandon (who isn't a good singer and really blows the opportunity to prove himself better than the previous night). I can imagine who will stay in? If you guesses the contestant with male genitalia, you are right on! Tara is gracious; when they ask her if she has anything she wants to say, she gushes, "Oh I have so many things I want to say..." and if my memory serves correctly, they kind of cut her off mid sentence. It's like, stop wasting our time. Go back to your "successful" singing career.

So, to recap the remaining girls: we have Jordis (amazing singer), Deanna (something to prove, but obviously set up to fail by the age thing mentioned by the vocal coach), Jessie (willing to wear as little underwear as possible), and Suzie (prone to crying on camera, really forgettable)... I think they'll be pretty easy to dispatch.

There was no mention of a Monday show- will we not have another rock clinic? Oh no!!!!! I'll be off "Rock Star" for a week or so because of the wedding trip- so I'll just have to try to pick up where we left off. Who wants to guess which girls go first/next?

G'night!
S.