Sucks to be me

After the angiogram results came in, Dr. Kenan wanted me to have another MRI. It was supposed to be thirty minutes. Of course, it took an hour and a half. My sister tells me it’s the rule of three – any amount of time they give you should multiply by three to get the real time. This time I was injected with contrast dye to make the tumor stand out more. I waited a week and I heard from Dr. Kenan this afternoon (July 13, 2005) and he told me that the results were not good. The main nerve in my leg is completely enmeshed in the tumor. He wouldn’t be able to take it out without causing massive nerve damage and removing a great amount of leg muscle, so I would be left with a dead useless leg. I’m meeting with Dr. Kenan on Monday July 18th but I think it’s only to make final arrangements about the above the knee amputation of my right leg. It’s been a really long year and a half since I first learned about the sarcoma and unfortunately I’m right back to the original diagnosis. It's frustrating but I feel like I'm more mentally prepared to face what lies ahead than if I just had the amputation done two weeks after they found the sarcoma. Plus this way, I'm sure I've tried all possible alternatives and I won't be always wondering if there was something more I could have done to save my leg.

Sorry to be such a downer. Here's something happy, dammit. HAPPY!!!