Friday, January 27, 2006

Haiku Film Reviews

NIGHT OF THE JUGGLER
Mostly in daylight
And doesn't contain juggling.
What a dumb title.

SAW
Cut through your ankle
And ignore the bloody corpse.
Do I have to watch?

ELIZABETHTOWN
Two hours of whimsy,
Completely insufferable,
I hate Bloom and Dunst.

FLIGHTPLAN
Where is my daughter?
Is she on the giant plane?
Sarsgaard looks so stoned.

THE MACHINIST
Better than you'd think.
Christian Bale lost sixty pounds.
But is he dreaming?

RACE WITH THE DEVIL
Oates and Fonda flee
In a pimped-out motor home.
Red-State Satanists!

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